When Children Smile

Sometimes the world is bright and gay

And all’s well with each passing day

Under blue skies, green fields rest

Song bursts from birds with feathered breasts

But sometimes it all turns to grey

And raindrops fall where sunbeams played

Nature cowers, and thunders roars

But in these times, just stop and pause

Remember...

If things have been grey a while

Rainbows come when children smile

This is a poem I wrote for the 'Rainbows' writing prompt on my online writing community. I took a creative approach, rather than writing about a literal rainbow, I wrote about the little rainbows I see at work everyday: the smiles of the children.

10wk old baby being held by her daddy.

Note: This is not one of the children I work with, but the baby of my Literature teacher in 2010. I don't think she'd mind me using her photo to compliment my poem :) If you see this, Ms. Appleby, I hope you and your little family are doing well.

~ Jewels

'When your 7-Year-Old son says, "I want to be gay"' - Daily Life

I just read a beautiful, inspiring article from The Daily Life section of The Age, with the same title as this post. If you want to, you can read the article here, and I hope it brings as much of a smile to your face as it did mine. This is an example of acceptance and unconditional love within a family unit, and if every child was raised in such a loving, non-judgemental environment, society as a whole would benefit.

~ Jewels

Because toddlers have, and deserve, a voice

I just read the most terrible article. It literally made me sick to the stomach, and I felt I had to say something, or I'd be guilty of spreading the myth the article perpetuates. The myth that toddlers, and other non-verbal children, don't have a voice.

If you want to read the article, you can do so here, but, I warn you, it doesn't make for pleasant viewing. What's even more disturbing is that the woman who wrote it runs a popular parenting blog! Good God in Heaven, but, if we followed her advice, child protection would be knocking on every door in Australia!

The main gist of the article is this: that children have opinions, but they're not as important as the opinions of adults, and shouldn't be of interest to a parent. This makes me both sad and angry, the idea that parents shouldn't listen to their child's opinion. Now, this does not mean that a child, particularly a toddler, should be choosing where the parents go for lunch/dinner/brunch/breakfast/coffee, but any parent who does not listen to, respect, and value their child's opinion does not deserve to be a parent.

The article gives an example of so-called 'indulgent parenting', where a young couple and their toddler-aged son arrived at the cafe the author worked in a the time. They were there to have brunch, and, according to the author, the following exchange took place.

Author: Table for three? 

Parents: We'll need a minute. Sweetie, what do you want for brunch? Do you want eggs? Do you want to stay here? 

Toddler: DAK! 

Parents: (to toddler) Oh, OK honey. (to author) Sorry, he wants pancakes, you don't have those do you? 

Rather than recording her answer to this very reasonable question, the author proceeds to tell us that she laughed, yes laughed, at these parents. She tries to justify it by saying that she couldn't 'quite read their faces' but 'they've got to be joking', and that she 'chuckled', rather than laughed. Whatever she calls it, she laughed at potential customers, and then proceeded to viciously mock their parenting in her article. Did I mention that they left with their son? And so they should have! I would have left too if a staff member laughed at me. To me, it sounds like the author was simply annoyed that this family chose not to stay in her cafe, which means she missed out on a tip. Petty much?

The author then comments:

Maybe, just maybe, your child isn't making words at all and you are ridiculously projecting some kind of foodie personality on him already. That could be a possibility, couldn't it?

Or, perhaps his parents are more in tune with his babbling than you, who has only seen him once, could ever be, and know that 'DAK', is his word for 'pancakes'. Just because you don't understand it, doesn't mean his parents don't. Young children are constantly practicing their language skills, learning how to make intelligible sounds, and naming objects around them in their own baby language. Unfortunately, most adults don't understand this baby language, and we call it 'babbling', but it's an important part of a child's development. Dismissing babbling as 'nonsense', which this author does, is to say that a child's attempt to talk and communicate as adults do is worthless. Sounds like a classic case of 'children should be seen, not heard'.

But, I haven't even got to the most disturbing part of the article yet. Twelve paragraphs in, in ALL CAPS, the author makes the following statement regarding toddlers:

THEIR OPINIONS JUST AREN'T AS IMPORTANT AS OURS.

Well, I'm disgusted that any rational, loving parent could possibly believe this in any way, shape or form. If I heard any parent at the daycare say this, either to another parent, a staff member, or - God forbid! - a child, I would be reporting it to my director immediately, and recommending that the parent be offered some resources to educate them on the importance of understanding, and respecting, their child's opinion.

Respecting your child's opinion doesn't mean slavishly allowing them whatever they want. For example, if it's dinner time, and you're having steak and three veg, and it is your child's opinion that double chocolate ice-cream would make a better dinner, don't leap to your feet and get them a bowl of ice-cream. Instead, tell them that ice-cream is a treat for after dinner/weekends/birthdays or whatever you have decided. Tell them that it's important to eat their dinner, so they don't go hungry, but don't fall into the old trap of forcing them to eat. If they want to eat the steak, but not the vegetables, don't get too fussed about it. Ask them why they don't want to eat the vegetables. The likely answer is going to be 'I don't like them'. Ask them why, and get them to think about why they don't like them. If you get an answer along the lines of 'Because they're yucky', I would recommend just leaving it there. Keep trying with the vegetables but, as long as your child is not underweight, or in any other way unhealthy, don't push too hard. My sister hated vegetables all through her childhood, and even perfected the art of screaming with her mouth closed when my mum tried to feed her anything green. She's changed her tune now she's older, and enjoys her home made smoothies, and fruit and veggie juices. She even brought herself a home juicer.

The point? Your children's tastes will change as they grow older. Just because they don't like it now, doesn't mean they will be forever at odds with it. Furthermore, how would you feel if someone bigger than you tried to force feed you something you thought was disgusting? Something I was taught when I did my studies was that you should never do to a child what you would not be prepared to do to an adult.

What I'm trying to say is that, just because children can't verbalise their opinions doesn't mean they don't have them, and that they shouldn't be listened to. Babbling is an important stage in a child's language development, as they learn how to make sounds, and attach meanings to everyday objects. Don't write their attempts at speech off as 'cute, but meaningless', they have as much right to be heard as we do.

~ Jewels

Being the best version of me

Sometimes, just when you weren't sure of yourself, everything becomes clear. Or, maybe not clear, but you can see a lot more clearly than you could six months ago. Three weeks ago, I had one of those moments. I'd finished my Cert III in Children's Services, and had thoroughly enjoyed my week off, lazing around, and firing off a few job applications. I was ready to start getting up at seven in the morning again, and settling into a routine, apply for some more jobs, and generally prepare for what would, undoubtedly, be a long wait before I got so much as an interview, let alone employment.

The two job applications I sent off during my week off had been sent on a whim, that is, I liked the sound of the jobs advertised, I had the necessary qualifications, they were in a good location, and weren't asking for experience. I didn't expect anything to come of them, because I'd never got a job on my first try before, and I wasn't terribly hopeful. It was mid-year, a bunch of Cert III courses would have finished, and every just qualified Sarah, Sally and Sue would be looking for an assistant level position in children's services.

So just imagine my surprise when I received a call from Eltham College Kids Melbourne City, asking if I could come in for an interview early the next week. Not daring to hope, I said yes, I was available, and a quietly confident feeling settled in my stomach for the rest of the day. The reason for this feeling was that the woman who called me had said something no other potential employer had ever asked me when asking if I could come in for an interview: Are you still looking for work?

It wasn't the kind of question prospective employers asked if they just wanted to screen you for a position, after all.

When I arrived for my interview, I took the lift up to level four, and rang the door bell. Like most childcare centres, ECKids kept the doors locked, and you needed to type in a code on the keypad to open the door. Reception could open the doors from the inside without the code if you were a new parent or staff member. The handle was also positioned higher than usual on a door, so that if one of the children managed to escape their room and get out to reception, they would not be able to reach the door handle and escape the centre.

Through the door was a lovely, clean reception area, with a comfortable, white leather couch and two matching chairs. There was a round, glass table in the middle of a rug, and lounging under the table was a large, caramel colour rabbit.

I told the receptionist I was there for the interview, and she showed me a small meeting room off to the side. It was a group interview, as my interview time had accidentally been double booked, but the woman I was interviewed with was wonderful, and we've actually become great friends since.

Truth be told, it was the best interview of my life, because I came out of it with a job! Yes, a job. My very first application turned into my very first job.

I've been working at ECKids for about three weeks now, on a casual basis, 'floating' (as we call it in the industry) between different rooms. There are eight rooms in the centre, six downstairs, and two upstairs (yes, the centre is over two levels), and I've worked in five rooms downstairs and one upstairs.

ECKids is different from the centers I did my placements at, first of all in size (ECKids has places for 160 children a day), but also in set up. In most childcare centers there are three rooms, 0-2yrs, 2-3yrs, and 3-5yrs, and they take children from 6wks to 5yrs. ECKids takes children from 6wks to 6yrs, and not only has a childcare centre and three-year-old kinder downstairs, but two structured, government accredited kindergartens upstairs, run by bachelor qualified kinder teachers. One is for four year olds, and one for five year olds. I haven't been in the four year old kinder, but I did spend the day in the five year old kinder last week. I didn't enjoy my pre-school placement when I was at TAFE all that much, but I really enjoyed the structured pre-school environment at ECKids. It was different to placement, I grant you, because it was a five year old pre-school, rather than a three-five year old room at a daycare. However, my favourite room I've been in so far as been one of the toddler rooms, 1-2yr olds.

By the time the children get to this room, Toddler A, they're walking, and they're saying several words, or are able to communicate, relatively clearly, what they want. One thing they all love is singing songs, so I've been brushing up on my nursery rhymes. Most of the children can say the name of their favourite song, and most can sing the majority of nursery rhymes, even if they can't use the words out of that context. It's lovely to have a group of little children at your feet, contentedly singing along with you. They're like a little chorus birds, a little out of tune, but lovely to hear all the same. Some hands down favorites have been: Baa Baa Black Sheep, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Ring Around the Rosy.

So, what does this have to do with being the best version of me? Well, I had to do an employee induction before I started work at ECKids, and there was one part of this induction that really stayed with me. That was the part that said that all staff working at ECKids must strive to 'be the best version of you'. I've really taken that to heart in the last three weeks, and strived to become the best version of me that I can possibly be.

So, there you have it, a little late in coming, but, as they say, better late than never. I'm sure you'll hear all about my adventures with the children at ECKids as time goes on, and I start to know them all a bit better. But, for now, just remember this:

~ Juliana

 

This is Life in Colour

Sometimes, in life, you surprise yourself. You do something you never thought you could do, and you do it well. I've had one of those moments. Last Friday (26/06/13) I completed my Certificate III in Children's Services, which is an entry level qualification into the children's services industry. It's taken my a long time to get here, and there's been several hurdles along the way. I was close to giving up dozens of times, and I suffered from prolonged periods of self-doubt and constantly asked myself 'Is that right for me?' After finishing my course, I'm still not sure about the last question, but I'll find out when I hit the big, wide world of children's services.

I heard the song 'Life in Colour' by OneRepublic the week I finished my course, and felt it described perfectly how I was feeling and what lay ahead. I've included a YouTube clip of the studio version (my favourite version) with lyrics. I hope you enjoy it as much as I have lately.

In other news, I've been busy as a bee, helping my parents plan their 25th wedding anniversary. They're arranging to renew their wedding vows, and we had the celebrant over last Sunday to discuss the ceremony and how everything's going to go. I'm doing a reading, and also saying a short speech. My dad's parents are coming over from New Zealand for the anniversary, and his brother and his brother's partner are coming across from Adelaide. My mum's sister and her children are coming as well, but they already live in Melbourne, so they're not travelling far. For my reading, I wrote a triolet called 'Perhaps in Heaven', which I've included below.

Perhaps in Heaven

Perhaps in heaven, love comes first

But I’ve found true love here on earth

And into it I plunged headfirst

Perhaps in heaven, love comes first

But if ever I’m at my worst

Remind me, dear, for what it’s worth

Perhaps in heaven, love comes first

But I’ve found true love here on earth

My parents really are soul mates, and have been very happily married for twenty-five years. They really embody the spirit of unity, and I hope and pray that they have many more happy years before them. I also hope that, one day, I'll find someone who I want to share my life with, and who wants me to share theirs. But, for now, I'm happy just sorting myself out, and celebrating my parents' wonderful milestone.

Last weekend, I caught up with my friend Michelle, who just got back from a six month student exchange in Sweden. She's become quite adventurous since going overseas, and has really grasped the idea that life is short, so you have to seize the day. We went out for hot chocolate at the Lindt cafe in Melbourne, and then to lunch in a tiny, cramped nook near Flinders Street Station which, truth be told, was absolutely marvelous. We then caught a tram to Docklands, and I took photographs of her while she had a go at ice skating. She told me that she had a go at ice skating on a frozen over pond in Sweden, and was keen to give it another try. I've done a little bit of skating, and it's not something I really enjoy, so I was happy to play photographer and stay off the ice.

I was very impressed by her skills, as Mish was quite a natural on the ice. When I went ice skating, I spend the whole time hanging onto the side of the rink, while my feet slipped and slid under me like I was on wheels. It was awful! Mish, on the other hand, glided around like Swan Lake on Ice (which I went to see once, and it was fantastic). After ice skating, I brought a coat in my favourite shade of blue which I'd seen on the way to the rink, and then we caught a tram back to Flinders Street and parted ways.

I'll be seeing Mish again sometime next week, as we're going to the Monet's Garden exhibition at the National Gallery of Victoria some time. I'm not sure when yet, but my parents have been kind enough to pay for my ticket. The price was very reasonable, since we'll be viewing Monet, who is acknowledged as a master, but I'm absolutely down to the wire with finances at the moment, and wouldn't have been able to go if my parents hadn't paid for me. 

To finish this blog post, here is a lovely video of two babies playing with rubber bands. It doesn't take much to entertain a baby, as they are learning how the world works, and the simplest things excite them. You can have the most expensive, amazing, up-to-date, plastic-fantastic toys, but, at the end of the day, a baby is more likely to be interested in the world around them (and you!) than any toy.

Well, that's all from me for now. I'll blog again after I've been to Monet, and let you know what it was like, and if it's worth going to if you're in Melbourne. 

Until then!

~ Australian Kiwi

Regrets

It happens to all of us once in a while, we wake up one morning and regret crashes down on our shoulders. Regret, because we let ourselves be talked into something we'd already said we didn't want to do, and now we're trapped.

I had one of those mornings just recently, after placement finished. I woke up on Good Friday morning, (well, Good Friday afternoon, really, because I slept in and didn't get up until midday) and regret wrapped its noose around my neck. Why had I gone back to childcare, when I already knew I didn't enjoy working with certain age groups? Why hadn't I stuck with my original plans and done a creative writing course this year, and looked at doing either a BA or Bachelor of Communication next year? Why?

The answer, I believe, is because I'm desperate to please the people I love. While no one forced me to study childcare, a person I care very deeply about made it quite clear to me that they didn't think I should be studying creative writing. This hurt me deeply, as this person has always said they want me to do what makes me happy, and I felt I already knew that, while I enjoyed the theory of childcare, working with children didn't make me happy. Don't get me wrong, I love children, and I enjoy working one-on-one with young children, but supervising a large group of 15-20 children day-in, day-out... not my cup of tea.

I have to be honest and say that I regret listening to this person, and I regret changing my mind and doing what they wanted me to do. 

I love studying children's development, which is a major part of my theoretical studies, but the practice of looking after them is draining, tiring, and thankless. People say its a rewarding job, looking after little ones, but I was sick and tired of all but one of them by the end of my placement. There was no reward, just drudgery. Not that I would have hurt the children, or done anything to compromise their safety, but I don't want to work in an environment I don't like, and where I'm not giving 100%.

OK, so, that's my little rant. I wish I'd gone down a different path and left childcare in the past. There's no point dropping out now, however, as I won't get into any other courses until midyear at the earliest. So, I'll finish my cert, but I don't think I'll go on and do my diploma of children's services midyear. 

~ Australian Kiwi

Twenty Years Living

Yesterday (09/03/2013) I said farewell to my pre-adult years and the joys of teen-hood, and celebrated my twentieth birthday.

I raked in a good haul, receiving from my sister the book Ransom by David Malouf, and a beautiful Birthday Girl champagne flute from my parents. My aunt gave me money towards a pair of bike shorts for the Ride to Conquer Cancer, and my friend over in Sweden sent me two Swedish shot glasses to add to my collection.

I was lucky enough to get birthday brunch and birthday dinner, as my sister had to work last night, and couldn't be at the dinner. We went for brunch at Theobrama Chocolate Lounge in Melbourne Central, and, while everyone else helped themselves to second breakfast and chocolate drinks, I went all out for the chocolate. I had a dark chocolate frappe with whipped cream, and a croissant drizzled in molten chocolate, with strawberries and vanilla ice-cream on the side.

In fact, I had a lot of chocolate yesterday but, it was my birthday, so, why not?

Birthday dinner with my parents and my aunt was a lovely affair. We had before dinner nibbles alfresco style, as it was cooler outside than in. We had a mixture of sweet and savory nibbles, with chips, bagettes, breadsticks and dips, along with licorice bullets, dark chocolate and party mix, gracing the table. Dinner, cooked by my wonderful mother, consisted of a main dish of chicken in a rich mushroom sauce, with two sides: homemade semi-dried tomatoes, and fresh asparagus in a seeded mustard dressing. Then, for desert, there was, of course, birthday cake, but also homemade chocolate truffles and peppermint cremes.

Facebook proved the place to be for birthday wishes, with my family and friends all over the world stopping by my wall to write a birthday message. I received wishes from Australia, New Zealand, and even Sweden!

So, twenty, what does it even mean?

It was my first birthday back in Melbourne, and I'm taking the fact that it went so well as a good omen for the rest of my year. A lot of good things have happened to me around this time, and I had a look at my astrological yearly forecast I had done at the Mind, Body, Spirit Festival last year. According to the forecast, at about this time, things swill start to fall into place for me, and difficult tasks do not seen as daunting as they usually would. The interesting thing is, I start placement on Tuesday next week, and have a lot of work to get through. Normally, the thought of interacting with children and having to take observations, organize activities etc. would terrify me, but I've been no more flustered by this than I would be by a feather floating past my ear. Actually I'm really looking forward to placement, and I'm seeking it, not as a difficult task, but as a fantastic experience in my industry.

I also managed to tick something off on my bucket list recently! I have just started lessons with my very first ESL student. We met last Wednesday, and got on like a house on fire. We'll meet weekly for as long as she likes, which could be a month, or we could be seeing each other for years!

So, I look at twenty as the beginning of something good, something powerful and special. After all, you only live once.

~ Australian Kiwi

"If your kids can't behave, don't fly until they can" - Why I have a problem with this attitude

Ah, here we go again.

Some poor passengers on an Air New Zealand flight from Auckland to Christchurch were disturbed by the cries of a two-year-old boy before take-off.

Oh, those poor, poor passengers and their sensitive ears, how ever did they cope?

The good news for them was that they didn't have to. The woman, and her two sons - aged five and two respectively - , were asked the leave the flight by an air hostess because 'the pilot could not take off with unsettled passengers'.

Yes, that's right, a woman who had paid for her ticket, and paid for the tickets of her children, was asked to leave a flight because her child was annoying the passengers.

Air New Zealand later said this wasn't true, and claimed that the woman was asked to leave the flight because the two-year-old refused to be properly restrained. Now, that is a more sensible argument, as it is a Civil Aviation requirement that all passengers wear a seat belt for take off and landing. However, if it is true, why did Air New Zealand wait until after the woman and her children had been forced to disembark before explaining this to them?

Sounds like a case of damage control to me.

The woman and her two sons were supposed to catch another flight to Christchurch an hour later but, by the time their baggage was unloaded from the first flight, they were too late to board the second flight. In fact, the woman's youngest son wasn't allowed to fly at all! Her husband had to abandon his own plans for the weekend and drive up from Hamilton to Auckland to pick up his son, that's nearly an hour and a half trip each way. The woman and her oldest child got to Christchurch, but the article didn't say if the youngest had remained in Hamilton with his mother's partner, or if he had eventually made it to Christchurch with his mother and brother.

Now, the quote in this title came from a comment published underneath the article on The Daily Life online. User pOiter's full comment is below.

I'm afraid I have endured one too many flights with crying/screaming babies and toddlers. If your kids can't behave, don't fly until they can.

pOiter is obviously not a parent with young children, or a particularly understanding or compassionate person. In fact, their comment smacks of arrogance, insensitivity and egocentricity. You don't like babies crying, therefore they and, by default, their parents, should be housebound until they learn to communicate?

Sorry bucko, it doesn't work like that.

For babies and very young children who have not yet learned to communicate their needs using language, crying is the only way they can tell their caregiver they need something. Whether it be a nappy change, some food, a sleep, comfort, or just to tell their carer that they're scared or unhappy. Whatever pOiter and others like him/her may believe, children do not cry on flights to annoy other passengers. They cry because they need to communicate.

Also, a crying child is not a misbehaving child. This is often a contentious topic among those who don't have children themselves, as there is a deep-seated, but misguided, belief that 'good' children and quiet children. It's the old 'children should be seen, not heard' argument that was popular in our grandparents' day.

This is not true. As I mentioned above, children cry to communicate. The cry of a young child would be the equivalent of an older child saying 'Mummy, can I have something to eat now?' or 'Daddy, I'm scared, can I have a cuddle?'

A further point, while pOiter doesn't explicitly state that he/she has a 'right' to travel in peace and quiet, this is a statement often made by people with similar, narrow-minded opinions. Not only are these people rude and judgmental, they are also ignorant of what actually constitutes a 'right'.

A 'right' is defined as 'that which is due to anyone by just claim, legal guarantees, moral principals etc., often protected by a constitution or a Bill of Rights'.

Considering pOiter's comment appeared in an Australian newspaper (The Daily Life is owned by Fairfax Media), I'm going to guess that he/she is Australian. Australia has a constitution, in which our rights are protected, and nowhere in that document is 'the right to travel in peace and quiet' listed. This so-called 'right' exists only in the minds of ignorants like pOiter.

As I mentioned above, babies and young children cry, it's what they do. You can't stop them, and you can't stop their parents from travelling with them, or taking them out places. Imagine a world where children were housebound until they could communicate with language, where they were not allowed to go and play in the park, go to a cafe, or ride on a train or airplane because of their level of development.

What a terrible world that would be.

The attitude of pOiter, and many others, shows that children are not valued in Australia, and, as a future early childhood educator, this saddens me greatly. Why don't we value our children? Why are they thought of as nothing but annoyances? Why are we so selfish to think that think we should be able to prevent parents travelling or going out with their young children, just because they cry?

Well, why?

I have some advice for pOiter and his/her friends in the anti-childhood camp: buy some earplugs and get over yourselves.

~ Australian Kiwi

If you are interested in reading the article I have used for this post, you can find it here. It certainly makes for interesting reading, as do the comments below.